Nostalgia

It is the day after Christmas... I have lots of projects to do... two weeks off from work...
I decided to go outside and work on getting the hot tub running, it has a red flashing light, meaning it is not working. I needed something warm to wear as it is really cold and windy outside. I opened the closet door, staring me in the face is an old warm up jacket. It was given to me by my younger brother about five years ago when I coached his son's team with him.
Ted is his name, he has been deceased 2 1/2 years now. Seems like yesterday.
I am saddened by his passing and all that went on during those days... A lot of hurt feelings, but mostly, I miss my brother. We had a lot of fun as brothers and friends.
Yes, we were great friends. We played together, enjoyed getting into and out of trouble together. We hared secrets, losses and victories. Ted was one of my greatest fans. He always cheered me on. In my magic endeavors and everything else.
His pet name for was James. He would say, goodonya James!
He really enjoyed coaching his youngest son with me. We made a great team. Ted was amazing. It is interesting how people always want what they see in others. I wish I had his wonderful, childish personality. Ted could walk in a room and instantly it was a funner, brighter place.
All this from looking at a jacket!? Strange nostalgia, isn't it?
It is Christmas time. I miss my immediate family, we do not get together anymore, too strained, always walking on egg shells, worrying about offending someone, sometimes it seems that some of us actually go out of our way to offend someone, weird...
The last several years I have enjoyed spending time with my in laws at Thanksgiving and Christmas.
Also been thinking about my mom too... I just started reading a Mitch Albom book, "For One More Day." It is a rather strange book, but brings up a lot of nostalgic thoughts...
Christmases past, hurts and victories.
My children are almost all grown up and I miss the times we shared when they were young.
Gotta move forward. No looking back!